Communication. It’s something we do on a daily basis. Whether it’s with our co-workers, friends, or family, we always have something to discuss. From how our day has been, solving a task, or even discussing what to have for dinner. It is common place within each of us, and we have many means of which to communicate. One of the most common ways is via social media. The various platforms out there allow us to convey our messages to others in a public setting and receive answers to questions at near instant speed, or spend hours in a nuanced discussion about an issue passionate to those participating. In Magic: the Gathering there are ways we communicate as well. From actions we are taking during game play, to discussions about what game action could have taken to achieve a different result, and what new cards to include in our decks when contents of a new set are previewed.
…but we really need to work on how our words land honestly.
Hello everyone. Today I want to review a few patterns of behavior I have noticed within the Magic: the Gathering community, and provide a few opportunities in which we can improve how we communicate with each other. This isn’t meant to call anyone out (because I am far from perfect), but if you see yourself in this then please take the words to heart and look at the positives of this.
Being Dismissive
Have you ever told someone about something you are excited about, and were given a dismissive reaction leaving you to believe they don’t care about it? Something along the lines of “that’s nice dear”, or similar provide you the thought that you are wasting your time talking about this subject that has you excited? This doesn’t even need to apply to Magic: the Gathering. I can’t count on all of the fingers of everyone in this city the number of times I have been told “baseball sucks” when discussing how the Cincinnati Reds are doing to someone whose only focus is football. This has happened even when the Reds were in 1st place, and yet when this happens I have felt like I have wasted my time speaking with them. Yeah. It sucks doesn’t it? Nothing is quite deflating in the Magic: the Gathering community than seeing something new or *gasp* be fun to play and be told by others that “it sucks”. Especially when the person doing so is a prominent member in the community, and has a hand in shaping an entire format. How does that grow creative thought, and deepen conversation? How does that promote growth? How does that look to others not in the community that see it? None of that is good, and it should not be surprising by the person being dismissive. However they are so focused on “being right” that they will do this to anyone. It doesn’t matter if the person is older than them. There is something burning within them to lay claim to their moment in time that they have to stand as an authority on a subject to others that they will take this stance at all costs.
Instead these conversations should be like this:
- What excites you about this card?
- What do you think it will pair well with?
- Provide examples of similar strategies at a lesser mana cost.
- Ask about how the new card changes deck construction, and mana distribution.
- Ask more open ended questions to drive the conversation forward.
When I encounter people like this I wonder if they behave that way with their employer. Perhaps others are behaving that way towards them, and they are redirecting that behavior down to others. It’s hard to tell, and each case would need to be viewed individually. What I fail to understand though is often times these same people will post on social media that “your feelings are valid” to others about various subjects, but when someone posts a valid criticism about a hobby they both love (say in this instance Magic: the Gathering) they immediately become dismissive. If everyone’s feelings are valid they sure do not show it in these instances. Be better. Do better.
Policing Others
Something else I have noticed lately on social media is that there are some who wish to control what is valid to discuss, and how it is discussed. Have you ever posted something, anything, anywhere and have someone immediately comment on it usually with a negative tone? People who behave this way are often times locked into a belief or impression that anything you say is automatically negative, and won’t truly bother reading what you have said, ask for clarification, or even wish to have a dialogue with you. They only respond to you in order to have you comply with what they want, or to shut you up. There is no negotiating with people like this, and (in my experience) no truce to be had. These people will use platforms that are more open or free-form and act as an arbiter to any conversations in them. They can use their position within the community as some kind of proof to indicate their opinion is correct, or that you should listen to them, or often times both.
How do you know this is happening to you? Watch how they interact with others. Especially others who bring up the same points, but perhaps word them differently. Notice any reactions to others with the same points as you, and you may find fewer responses if any at all. This is when you notice that you and your comments are being policed. It doesn’t even have to be a comment. Often times business will make decisions that their customers disagree with. Enough of these bad decisions, or the same ones repeated, will at times evolve into a running joke (possibly even a meme). In times like this the customers not happy with seeing the same mistakes happening again will just simply lean into memeing about it as that is there way to cope. This is where the person policing your comments comes into play in order for their perverted sense of authority to be implemented. Especially in free form platforms. They will double down on their focus until you comply, a moderator steps in to (rightfully) keep the peace, or both. They seek only one thing, and that is their target.
Sadly the only opportunity here for these people is for them to see how they speak, and how negative they are towards others (especially if they value them less than those they consider a friend). They have to find the help themselves so you have to let them go. The block feature on whatever social media platform you are on is your best course of action. Use it.
What is really unfortunate is that sometimes there could be common interests with these people. Even interests outside of Magic. Due to their behavior towards you that is now one less person to share your common joy with, and any time that comes up in your life you are reminded of how awful this person was to you. A true opportunity lost. Perhaps forever.
Consume. Obey. Conform.
Communication within a community will often bring new ideas, and ignite progress. However when some members of a community are comfortable with the status quo they will make sure others are kept in line. This behavior can come from strangers, content creators, or even those that you may think are your friends. I’m fortunate to have a few friends who use open ended questions to drive conversations about any subject as that only leads to learning, and understanding. However there are those who find any discussion beyond what they perceive as the only way to engage with Magic: the Gathering as an afront to their beliefs, and will behave negatively towards you. However this doesn’t happen with just Magic: the Gathering.
Have you played Dungeons & Dragons in recent years? How many of you wanted to play a Ranger as your class, but were told by others who have been playing the current edition that it’s “unplayable”? Were you talked out of a decision during the game because someone else thought you should play the way they would play your character? These are examples of the siloed behavior where only the status quo is acceptable. “Others say the Ranger is a bad class to play therefore it’s a bad choice” is their unwavering stance on the subject. Even if you show up with a badass half-elven dual axe wielding Ranger miniature to use in game they will still try to steer you towards another decision.
Did you hear a song by a band that you have never heard before? How often have you shared it with others who simply pushed it aside only to find out later that the only music (in their opinion) that’s good is the popular music and artists everyone already knows of? How often does this person discuss this with you as if they come from a place of facts and not opinion? Are you ever embarrassed to discuss your favorite bands or genres of music around others in fear of being gaslit for liking something divergent of what is commonly enjoyed? Yeah it’s not a good feeling, but it does happen.
These situations only lead towards self exclusion to avoid being felt unwanted even among people with shared interests both within and without Magic: the Gathering. Why are we doing this? It doesn’t matter if it’s consciously or not, but it has to stop. Where can we start making change within the Magic: the Gathering community? Here are a few suggestions.
- Stop using the word “unplayable”. Just because you are trying to sweat out $15 of store credit for going 3-1 at your local FNM does not mean that your opponent is trying to do the same. Hell they may make that much in less than 30 minutes of work at their job that affords them the luxury of playing Magic: the Gathering. If they are playing cards that you feel are beneath you then that is a you problem. Appreciate them for enjoying the hobby because an FNM with 25-30 players is a more enjoyable atmosphere than the same 12 grinders that show up who will never, ever, hoist the Pro Tour trophy.
- Again back to open ended questions use those to discuss why someone is playing an outdated card, or deck, and only if they are asking for advice. Never, ever, offer unsolicited advice to someone. Perhaps they can only afford checklands instead of fetchlands. Let them enjoy the moment of playing Magic away from the real world for 50 minutes.
- If someone’s feelings on any subject are valid, and that is your true belief, then that should apply here too. If someone does not enjoy playing Universes Beyond cards then they should feel valid in their choice. Posting a meme where that person is given the bird does not invalidate their point (and in some ways enhances it), and does not make you look like a good person. Even if you do make content and have won Top 8 entries (let alone entire tournaments) in the past. It makes you look entitled, and not one someone would want to get to know.
Sadly there’s not much one can do to help navigate these situations either. There are those out there that no matter what information they are given to the contrary they will still try to duplicate the results of the most recent tournament, get mad when they can’t, tell others that their choices are indeed correct, and immediately call all of the cards from a year or two ago “trash” when the new cards come out as a way of elevating themselves in the perspectives of others. Treat these people like you do your lawn. Pull the weeds so the grass can grow.
Overall there can be enjoyable people to interact with in not just the Magic: the Gathering community. However as our use of social media increases so do a lot of these behaviors. One could say they were there all along, but were not seen without the advent of social media. While that may be valid it should not excuse, nor promote that behavior. Right now there are multiple different card games vying for customers, and with Magic: the Gathering getting older many younger people will look for cards games that not only are more affordable but also have a more welcoming community. No matter how much you feel you can perform well in competitions the only one who truly wins is the company that obtains our dollar. Put it into perspective, and think before you speak.
In Conclusion
Magic: the Gathering can be a difficult game to learn, and navigating game play can at times be intimidating. However how we treat each other can make one feel like they are not a part of the game a lot more than how powerful your new cards are to the ones your opponent enjoys playing. What is fortunate though is learning how to treat others with respect, and understanding, is a lot easier than trying to win 58% of all of your matches while chasing the White Dragon (so to speak) on your way to the Pro Tour. Take that opportunity, while you still have it.
Next Time
While many will say that the best non-Commander format is Modern what if I told you that the best format is actually…Standard? In the meantime you can follow me on Twitter.Â
Until then…
TAP MORE MANA!!!
The Arcane Sanctum 